Today, I sit here and write this almost exactly 3 months after losing mine. Thinking back to that early morning, which I do so very often, makes me physically hurt.
The fear of losing my dad has always been. I almost obsessed over it even, but on the morning when my mother-in-law told me the news, “Ashleigh, your dad died last night,” will forever be engrained in my mind.
Numb. Lost. In shock. Sadness. All the things you don’t want to feel wrapped into one moment.
It’s all such a blur, in the beginning. Gliding through life as it is, doing only what you have to, crying and then crying some more. Then crying some more… Forgetting they died, then being reminded and being crushed all over again.
So much hurt. You almost feel like you will never *not* hurt.
I can’t pretend I know how I will feel a year from now, or even 3 months from now, but as I sit here with tears let me tell you, it does get easier.
It gets easier to feel hopeful again. It gets easier to remember the good times and not only cry because of the reasons he’s not here.
But I can not lie and say the hurt goes away.
You will be okay, though. You will smile. You will laugh. You will still cry. And you will do all of those things because you loved him.
Grief is just love. And I know that you are hurting. I wish I could take it all away, but I can’t. Nothing can. Time does heal, but it can not fix.
Please cry. Please laugh. Please talk about him often. And please know that he loved/s you. ❤️
XoXo,
A Grieving Daughter
Thank you Ashleigh, I am traveling this same path, the pain and sadness some days is almost unbearable but as my Daddy would say” life goes on girls “. Thank you for saying what so many are feeling. I love you ❤️
Love you! <3