Oh, mama, I know how you feel. Wanting to expand your tribe, but your husband is just not ready… It is hard to understand how that could be possible, right? I mean, you have other children and he’s great with them. Why would he not be ready for more of that?!
Well, I wondered all of these things as I have wanted to expand our probably another boy tribe for the past two years! Chris was not ready, but I was more than ready, so I thought…
You see, I couldn’t see so clearly what he was seeing. I was struggling to get though the day with just two kids. I was struggling to get though the day just as me! My mind had overwhelmed my entire existence, and I was trying to be everything and please everyone, but me… Mentally, I was not ready.
He could see this.
I could not. I had “I just want another baby” goggles on.
Fast forward two years, and I am better. Getting better, and working on being better… I am now thankful to him that he wasn’t ready, because what I really think was he knew was that I wasn’t ready. It took those two years of secretly struggling for me to realize that I needed to take care of myself first. In order to be the best mom that I can be for my boys, I had to take care of ME! I needed to take care of us!
I’ve recently shared this with him, and while he claims this theory isn’t true (he just doesn’t want me to be right lol) I know that it probably had something to do with it. And we will decide TOGETHER when is the best time for us to expand our family. And whenever that is it will have been the perfect time. Because we all know these babies don’t come when we plan them anyway. 🙂
So mama, as hard as it is to be so angry that your partner isn’t ready for such a life changing thing, such as another baby, please take it from me and know that it needs to be something that you both decide is the right time. If you’re going to keep navigating through life together, you need to agree on these things together. <3
